Schwert Meister, Crona
by meefgal
Summary: Crona recieves an Entrails Animal, a giraffe, from Patty. The next morning, he finds himself as the opposite gender! How the heck can he deal with her new abilities, as well as Ragnarok's dirty comments? Review with pairing suggestions, comments, and ideas!


Just something I came up with while watching Kampfer and reading Soul Eater fanfictions. Enjoy the randomness!

Normal POV

"Happy Birthday, dude!"

"You're 16 now, right?"

"How can you be older than God's successor?"

"I bet your 8th birthday wasn't that great, so let's make up for it now!"

"Can I give you my present first?"

"Open my present, it's Giraffe-related!"

"Everyone, please give Crona some space!"

Crona watched nervously and slightly amused as Maka shooed everyone away from him. In truth, he didn't really know when his birthday was, since Medusa hated the idea of celebrating anything besides the defeat of the enemy. All he knew was that he'd been on Earth for 16 years as of this year. Maka and the others all thought for days in advance when his birthday would be, and they all decided to make it a surprise for him.

Maka had been dropping little hints on when that day might be, hints like 'the ocean's birthday' but Crona had no idea what that meant. He tried looking in textbooks for something like when the sea was born, but all that he came up with was that it was a super long time ago and isn't recorded officially. Earlier this morning, as he was on his way to class, he finally figured out what Maka meant.

She meant the day that he and Maka became friends.

For the rest of the day until now, after classes were over for the day, he'd been trying to remember what day that was. He couldn't, for the life of him, remember what day he and Maka became friends, and it bugged the heck out of him. Judging by what was happening now, it meant that one year ago today, Crona joined the good side.

"T-thank you for this..." Crona said shyly, smiling. Everyone stopped their bickering to drink in the beautiful sight that was Crona smiling, and they all smiled back to him.

"No problem, Crona!" Maka grinned happily. "This is all for you, after all! We want you to have a great birthday!" Crona blushed, fidgeting.

"I'm really grateful for all this..." Crona said quietly, just before Ragnarok came out from his upper back.

"The fuck!" he yelled. "Is this seriously some pansy birthday party? The LAST thing I want to remember is when I became a chibi!" he hollered. Tsubaki walked up with a sandwich in her hands. Ragnarok knew what she was doing and grabbed the sandwich with his tongue, gobbling it down in seconds. Crona sighed, pouting then flinching as a few crumbs rained down into his hair. Then he giggled quietly, and now everyone knew he wasn't really upset with Ragnarok, and they slowly started to laugh along. When everyone's giggling died down, Patty bounded up to Crona, shoving her giraffe-printed gift box into his arms.

"Come on, you said you'd open my present first!" Patty squealed. Crona blinked.

"I never said that, but I'll open yours first..." Crona couldn't help but smile at Patty's major enthusiasm. It made him nervous, but in a good way.

Crona started to carefully rip the wrapping paper where it was messily taped. When he finally reached the cardboard box inside, he opened the flaps at the top and pulled out...

... a giraffe.

This wasn't any ordinary giraffe, though. This giraffe's neck was covered in red stitching that probably represented slits in its' throat. Its' guts were dangling below him, under his body. Crona got shivers. This did not seem like a Patty-type gift at first, but after giving it some thought, it all made sense. Crona smiled at Patty happily. A present was a present, and it was the thought that counted.

"Thank you, Patty...~" he said, hugging her. Patty eagerly hugged back, giggling madly and actually lifting him, spinning him around and putting him back down so he could regain his balance. Liz was next. Crona got a necklace with a fancy 'C' charm dangling from its' chain. He got an autograph and a man-hug from Black Star, a symmetrical portrait of Kid's father from Kid, a leather black jacket from Soul, a cook book from Tsubaki, and a hand-made card and kiss on the cheek from Maka, which made Crona's face turn red and provoked Ragnarok to whistle.

"Thank you for all the gifts..." Crona thanked everyone, fidgeting nervously. "I have to repay you all sometime-"

"No way, bro!" Soul interrupted, walking up to Crona and grinning, showing off his impressive pointy teeth. "You don't have to pay us back for a present." Crona whimpered.

"But I want to!" he whined, making everyone laugh and try to convince him that presents were things you didn't have to pay anyone back for.

Crona giggled quietly with them and decided that it was time to clean all of his presents and take them down to his room in the basement of the DWMA. Many offered to help, but he refused and claimed he could carry them down himself, which he did without problem after saying good bye to everyone and thanking them once again.

Crona looked down into the bag he was given to carry his presents in, thinking of what he'd do with them all. The giraffe he can probably place on his desk for poem-writing inspiration, along with Maka's card. He could wear the leather jacket and the 'C' necklace the next day or any other day he wanted. He could probably just wear the necklace every day, really. The autograph and the portrait could be hung on his wall, and the cook book he could file away onto his small library bookshelf.

Ragnarok was ranting on about something or other just so he could talk. He didn't expect Crona to listen to him, but he wasn't paying attention anyways, which worked out for both of them.

OoOoO

Once Crona's gifts were all put into their respective places, he changed into a pair of plain dark blue pyjamas and crawled into his bed, rethinking all that happened that day. He examined Patty's giraffe from the corner of his eye through the darkness. He couldn't see much of it, but the moonlight gave it an eerie glow and he got goose bumps looking at it. Something about the way it's neck was covered in scars and the way it's guts were leaking out from under him for all to see just threw him off...

"No," he whispered to himself, shaking his head. "it was a gift, I should like it..." Crona murmured, closing his eyes and turning over to face the wall.

His eyes opened a sliver. 'But what if I can't bring myself to like it...?'

He decided not to dwell on it and instead closed his eyes again and fell asleep shortly after.

OoOoO

_"Looks yummy, Tsubaki..." Crona complimented. Tsubaki smiled as she added some spices to her dish._

_"Thank you, Crona." Tsubaki replied. "So when it says 3 tbsp. of..." Tsubaki's voice faded away as she taught him how to read the cook book. He blinked at her._

_"I-I can't hear you, can you please repeat that?" Crona asked politely. Tsubaki gave him a weird look before smiling at him and her lips started to move again but he still couldn't hear her. Crona got worried. Was he going deaf...? not possible, he heard himself ask the question and he could still hear everything perfectly, just not Tsubaki's soft voice._

_Tsubaki reached for a small bowl filled with what looked like small blue rings. He stared. How could that be an ingredient? As predicted, Tsubaki started to sprinkle them into the food, and suddenly everything felt very far away._

_Crona rubbed his eyes and when he reopened them, he was standing on some weird-looking dance floor. The symbol on the floor looked familiar, like an autograph..._

_Black Star was standing a few metres from him, punching some bag filled with sand. 'A punching bag,' Crona thought, walking up to Black Star._

_"Why are you exercising?" Crona asked. Black Star stopped and loked at the pinkette._

_"Because it makes a stronger man!" Black Star all but yelled, then went back to punching the bag or sand. Crona sighed slightly._

_"Aren't you tired?" Crona asked him. Black Star didn't look this time, just continued punching._

_"No, because I'm gonna surpass God, and to do that, I..." his voice faded out. Crona panicked. He just stood there confusedly for a few seconds before his vision started to blur and he rubbed his eyes again._

_This time when he opened them, he was in a painting studio. To the left of him sat Kid, settled on a stool and steadily brushing strokes onto a canvas. Crona looked to where Kid was getting his reference from, and jolted when he saw Lord Death posing in a symmetrical manor. Crona was silent, not wanting to disturb Kid or Lord Death. Instead, he moved to look at what Kid had painted so far._

_It was half-completed, all Kid had left to do was Death's shoulders and his head and he was done. Crona looked at hte paints on Kid's pallet and his jaw dropped. He had to ask about this!_

_"Why is the paint colourful," Crona began. "When it shows up black?" Kid looked at him, setting the brush down._

_"That would be because all colours eventually rot and turn to black," Kid said to him with depression in his voice. "Black like Death... that's why..." Kid's voice faded too. Crona stared from the paints to the picture and back to Kid in horror. His vision faded in and out of focus, and he didn't bother trying to rub his eyes to help. the scene all mashed up for a second before it came back together at another scene._

_For this one, he stood with his arms spread out like he was trying to balance on a pole. Soul was walking around him with a pair of scissors, snipping away any loose threads he saw in the leather jacket Crona was wearing. Maka was sitting at a desk to the right of them, using a knife to precisely cut a piece of cardstock. There were stamps and markers littering the table, and pieces of cut up paper on the ground._

_"W-what's going on?" Crona asked Soul. Soul stopped just behind him._

_"I'm fitting you to your new jacket, man," Soul clarified. "Maka's making something pretty for you, and you should totally look forward to it." Just then, something clicked for Crona._

_"You made this jacket yourself?" Crona gasped. Soul knew how to sew? He never would've guessed!_

_"Well yeah, I wanted it to..." he couldn't finish, as his voice was cut off. Crona was getting used to this bizarreness, but it still scared him when Soul spoke, but no voice was heard._

_After a second, the scenario change again, this time to a store that obviously sold jewelry. Liz was standing beside him, looking at the necklaces. Suddenly she gasped and smiled, grabbing a necklace with a small 'C' dangling from the chain._

_"Look!" Liz said. "'C' for Crona! Isn't it cute?" was this was Liz acted like in her favourite place? It was different from how Crona was used to her..._

_"Y-yeah, it's cute..." Crona said. Liz giggled._

_"I'll put it on for you." Liz reached around Crona, hooking the chain up for the necklace. Crona blushed, looking at the necklace in the reflection of Liz's mirror._

_"It looks even better on you! you look so..." Liz's voice faded away and Crona took the short intermission time to think through this bizarre delusion. It scared him and he couldn't deal with it, but he'd have t learn how to deal with it if he wanted out of this mess of illusions. He then realized something._

_Each new scene introduced a gift he received at his birthday party! What was next, he went through Tsubaki, Black Star, Kid, Soul, Maka, and now Liz..._

_... that left Patty._

_Before he could do anything else, the scene changed to a street with colourful buildings around. He was wearing plain black shorts and a black T-shirt instead of his robe. Crona heard a loud crash behind him. He turned around slowly to see a huge giraffe with red stitches in its' neck and its' guts hanging out, crushing buildings everywhere._

_Needless to say, Crona screamed and started to bolt into the opposite direction of the gigantic plushie. A second later, Patty appeared from behind him and joined him in running, but unlike him, she was laughing and having a great time._

_"WHAT'S GOING ON?" Crona screamed over the sound of buildings falling to ruins. Patty laughed louder, rivaling Black Star._

_"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" she yelled happily, still sprinting. Crona squeaked._

_"D-D-DIE?" Crona screamed in fear and ran faster, trying to escape the huge giraffe, until he tripped and Patty ran ahead, her screams of joy fading into the distance. Just as Crona turned to look at the huge giraffe, he saw the fabric hoof falling down onto him. He screamed-_

And shot up out of bed. He breathed heavily, sweating and trying to calm himself down by keeping his eyes closed. As soon as he opened them again, he realized something was wrong. He looked down and his face went red.

There were two round things on his body that were definitely NOT supposed to be there! He had women's breasts! How on Earth did that-wait! He checked in his pants and whimpered, looking away almost as fast as he looked, and he, rather she, confirmed that her sex was different, and it happened overnight!

She felt a throbbing in her back and gasped, putting her hands over her chest as Ragnarok emerged.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?" she heard a squeakier-than-normal voice echoed in the room. Crona looked up at Ragnarok behind her and she nearly passed out just from the sight of him-or now her. Ragnarok still had pretty much everything intact, but instead of her regular more masculine appearance, she was more slender and had dainty white hands, not just blobs. A pair of small breasts was visible on her chest, and her head was more feminine in shape.

After a few awkward moments of staring at each other, Ragnarok realized that she wasn't the only one. After flexing the thin fingers on her new hands, she reached around Crona and grabbed her generously-sized breasts.

Crona screamed, had a minor nosebleed and finally, passed out.

Well... oAo that was pretty awkward, huh? Poor Crona... I sometimes wonder exactly which gender he is, so I decided this was one way to settle my own confusion!

I hope it wasn't too confusing or anything, I know writing about this is a pain as much as it is reading it, so please tell me of any errors or other things!

~Meef


End file.
